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| Single again, and back on the prowl
Well, not necessarily "the prowl." Three weeks after my boy-toy and I started dating, I realized that a total of two hours together every two weeks, just wasn't going to cut it. We called it quits... I just really can't deal with it right now. Plus, I felt that I was depriving him of having a good time when he had a girlfriend he never saw. So, I guess I'm back at square one.
Oh well! On a lighter note, I just found out today that I made my school's
Hall of Fame.
I'm one of 15 students who got it, out of about 600 seniors. Not too shabby, eh?
Haha. This is a short update on everything. I've got the SAT tomorrow and it's almost midnight, so I'll edit more in later =)
- L
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| So.. I have a boy toy =)
I know, weird right?! The love-bitter girl has found it in her somewhere to try it.. Again.
I've been single for almost a year and a half before him.
But he's a pretty dang good catch, if I do say so myself. And everyone that matters likes him so far.
Cute, huh? He's one of THE sweetest guys I've ever met and just knows how to say everything right. I like him. A lot =)
Hopefully this one lasts a while. He really is a good snag. And he's definently worth it =)
On the other hand. I've been out of school these past 3 days. I have staph, and the test results come back tomorrow on whether or not it's Mersa. Yuckyyyy. And it's in the WORST place possible. haha. So I had minor surgery for it on Monday.
That's gross. Okay, off that subject.
I'm officially shitting bricks now.
Need to start applying to colleges and I'm freaked.
How does someone deal with this? I feel as if I'm going to end up living on the side of the street in a box. That, or I'll purposely fail every year til I'm old enough to retire. Wait, can you retire if you're not working?
Whatev. Help!
- L
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| Where do you draw the line with having to give some to get some?
What if you give and give and give, and get a butt load of nothing back?
I'm a firm believer in karma. What goes around, comes back around. Right? What if you love and love and love, and STILL get a butt load of nothing back?
Well have I got news for you, 
Do we think of karma as our payment for doing a good deed? And if we don't get what we want back, by way of karma, does that make us not believe in it? What if karma is the best friends God has given you? What if karma just being able to live another day? What IS karma, and how do we know if it's been repayed?
I watched a movie last night called Jack and Jill vs. The World.
Very good movie. To think, that even the most love bitter people can have one person change their life.
I've decided.. I'm making a Manifesto of Rules (Idea stolen from the movie I was talking about)
RULE #1 - Live life in your own shoes. Always hope that Karma does exist, even if it doesn't present itself in the way that you would like it to.
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| "Old habits die hard."
A saying said time and time again. Do old loves die hard too?
What if it makes you laugh now but you cry as you fall asleep?
You put on a front for your friends so they can't remind you how stupid you are. You try and try to convince yourself you're over someone. But some way they find a way to ease themselves back into your life. You then let your guard down, once again to realize he'll never be completely erased. I cried myself to sleep last night. An old flame called around eleven, to relight himself. I've been perfectly content lately not talking to him or having really any contact with him. He left a message saying, "I called just to say goodnight since I haven't in a while.. So, goodnight."
I called him back, and throughout the twenty minute conversation I found myself crying. I missed him.
Why? Why would he call to say goodnight knowing that I couldn't handle it?
Memories don't make sense... They're memories to be remembered, not to be relit.
Love doesn't make sense... It's just an excuse for heartbreak.
Life doesn't make sense, but we live it everyday taking it headstrong hoping not to fall along the way.
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Ever been in these worn out knockoff shoes?
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| I was thinking.
The second we're born, we start dying. Not like literally, but we are one second closer to death. Is that what birthday's celebrate?
"Happy Birthday!
One more year closer to that party of a lifetime - your funeral!"
But maybe it's actually just a reminder to live every day as if it were your last, because one day, it will be. Live your life to the fullest, and don't go a day with regret. Make mistakes, and stupid decisions; but learn from them as well. Live the life you want to live. Let no one tell you different.
...Whatever the case may be, I suppose I'm one year closer to my funeral today.
Ha.
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